You Know You’re A Runner If….

I looked online for all of these. I just needed to spend some time decompressing and laughing…

…your toenails are black so you purchase black nail polish.
…your shoes have more miles on them than your car does.
…people say, “You run three miles…at once?” and it was a “short” day
…all your socks are either stained or torn.
…you can spit while running.
…you go to a golf course to run.
…your friends go on the elevator and you beat them on the stairs.
…you finish the race looking like you wrestled a bear and you don’t care.
…you’d rather run to school/work than drive.
…you combine phrases like “10 mile run” and “Easy Run” in the same breath.
…you can eat your weight in spaghetti.
…the paint from the bathroom walls peels when you leave.
…you start the race in shorts and finish in a G-string.
…your spit strings from you chin and you don’t even care.
…you schedule dates around races.
…your christmas list includes more than one pair of running shoes.
…you feel lost without your water-bottle.
…you start to crave Power Bars.
…your favorite food group is carbohydrates.
…you can strip and change in a bus seat in less than 2 minutes.
…you own spandex in more than 1 color.
…track is the other “sport”.
…your watch is more expensive and complicated than your car.
..Runner’s World provides more pin-ups than Playboy.
…you think spandex is a winter fashion statement.
…you find yourself saying, “it’s not really a hill…”
…you hit targets with your snot rocket.
…your feet are comparable to rawhide.
…you’re running and you don’t know why.
…you see a hill on a putting green.
…your spit hits everything but the ground.
…you drink more water than Free Willy
…theres nothing like intervals to start the week off fresh!!
…you’d rather run than watch T.V.
…watching the New York Marathon on T.V. made you get up and go for a run
…there are more miles on your running shoes than the odeometer of your car
…you’re toe nails have fallen off
…you refer to puke as a normal bodily function.

Ibuprofen is your recreational drug of choice.
You know the distance to and from work/the gym/the local taqueria down to the closest 100 yards.
Talking about the color of your pee comes as natural as talking about the weather.
You have no qualms about taking a Sharpee and writing all over a brand new pair of $80 shoes.
You have no qualms about throwing out those same shoes only a month after buying them.
You know how many grams of carbs there are in a banana.
You wash your shorts in the shower.
You look into the toilet before a big race to inspect the size of the log you just dropped.

..You get a bug in your eye and keep going so you don’t ruin your pace.
You’ve ever been sunburned from a long run.
You think compression wraps are functional clothing…and stylish.
…Y
ou bought toe socks because they are functional during runs.
You’re following 50% runners to everyone else on Twitter.
You have a separate laundry basket just for running clothes.
You’d rather spend your weekend crammed in a van with six other people running a Ragnar Relay.
Just talking about Google Maps makes you have to go to the bathroom.
You have race sneakers, training sneakers, other training sneakers… and the ones for mowing the lawn.
Instead of going to bed at a decent hour, you log onto Twitter to see if running is a trending topic.
You’ve ever run until your nipples bleed (it really hurts!).
Instead of just being content finishing a run, you rush home and furiously blog about every mile.
You’ve ever been caught stretching your hamstrings while waiting for the train to come.
You own more pairs of running shoes than heels, clogs, boots, or sandals…combined.
You’ve ever had a foot or ankle injury that you thought might be a break, but decided it’s not bad enough to make you miss your run.
You spend commercial breaks as a chance to use your foam roller.
You think it’s great to involve your kids in your LSD habit, and all of your runner friends agree
You have more race T-shirts than a souvenir shop.

…You know what PR means

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